The Pains of a Foreign Court
by starlock
Summary: Forced to return to Galla, Daine must adjust to life in a foreign court. Follow Daine as she begins to live her life without her love, Numair as she struggles with the great burdens placed upon her. D/N but includes other main characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers:** I do not own any of these characters; they remain the property of Tamara Pierce, Sadly.

**Background to the story:**

The story is set a few years after the immortal war ended, and Daine is nearing her 20's. Her relationship with Numair is publicly known and accepted. However, even after years of living as a couple, they have no married. However, they are secretly engaged (Her engagement ring, is spelled to sit on her badger claw necklace, even when she shape-shifts.

**Chapter One **

King Jonathan of Tortall sat in his private study, late in the day. Since becoming king, he had been faced with many challenges, difficult decisions, and great burdens. But he feared, his greatest decision of his reign, was in the contents of the letter in his hand. The letter, written in the careful calligraphed handwriting of a palace scribe, and sealed with a royal insignia, requested the return of one, Gallan born subject Veralidaine Sarrasri, to the nation of Galla.

The letter, although polite in tone, was harsh in its meaning. It claimed that the 'subject' had left Galla without the crown's permission and should swiftly return to Galla, with the threat of not doing so a declaration of war between, Tortall and Galla.

The king's forehead creased. He knew that as a friend to both Daine and Numair, he couldn't allow her to return to a country, who had not only showed no signs of wanting her before she had become so useful to Tortall, but had also been to cruel to her in Snowsdale, a microcosm of Gallan society.

However, Jon was not only a friend; he was a king and had to put all his people first. His country was in no state to fight another war, as it was already preparing for war with Scanra. Taxes within the country were as high as he could push them, and a call of conscription had already been readied. No, the country couldn't fight another war; it would tear the country apart and demolish all which he had achieved so far during his reign.

Jon was troubled. He was in a no win situation. The country couldn't fight another war but neither could it turn its back on its Wildmage, who had been prepared to sacrifice her life in the name of her new home. He needed to talk to Daine about this and to find some way out of this mess before it either tore his realm apart or his heart.

Daine was busy caring for the new horses in the stables, when a royal messenger came to get her for a meeting with the King. The horses, provided for the new recruits, were sad to see her leave for the day but she promised to come visit them soon, smiling.

She walked through the palace, attempting to make herself more presentable to the king. 'A semi-impossible task when living around animals' she thought, pulling some hay from her hair. But still, one has to try when in the presence of not only the King of her home, but one of the handsomest men she had ever set eyes on.

Knocking on the door and entering, she saw Jon sitting on a chair with a letter enclosed in his hands. Even though she was madly in love with Numair, her heart still gave a little flutter around the king, a little girlish crush which she knew most of the female population of the palace shared.

'Hello, I got the message that you wanted to meet with me. How can I help? Is it another mission?' She asked in a light tone.

Since the end of the Immortals war, the work that the king had sent her and Numair on didn't decrease. If anything, the king had sent them on more missions, many low key and unimportant. Jon had claimed that it was good for the people to know the mages who protected them, if not to inspire reassurance then to put them off rebelling. Seeing, as Daine was not a diplomat, she didn't disagree and had to admit that the country had been calm and stable; at least internally.

'Yes Daine, thank you for coming. Hope not to pry you away from your animals for too long', Jon said smiling

Smiling in return Daine chatted for a little while about the new horses and the hope that the new recruits knew what they were getting themselves into.

'Yes… well the reason I have called you here is to discuss this letter that I received from the king of Galla. He wants…' Jon paused, considering whether like a band aid; it was less painful to rip it off all at once or gradually,

'He wants you to return to Galla, citing as you are his subject, you unlawfully left the country…' his voice trailed of, pulling his head down not wanting to look Daine in the eyes.

'But… but… Tortall is my home, you're the king I serve, Numair lives here, all my friends live here, and I live here!' Daine couldn't control the outrage in her tone.

She was angry that a country, which couldn't have cared less about her when she lived there, had the cheek to do such a thing! She felt like Galla only saw her as a gem, maybe a powerful gem, to be had, rather then an individual.

She fell silent, thinking about all her memories of Galla, of growing up in Snowsdale, the painful memories of her village's disapproval of her as a bastard and of the happier ones, of talking to her ma and grandpa and of caring for the village animals.

'What else does the letter say?' she asked Jon. She knew that Jon wouldn't have told her about the letter if there was no realistic chance of it actually happening. She also knew that, Galla must have threatened Tortall some how as Jon wouldn't willingly loose her because of either their friendship which they shared or pessimistically, the power which she brought to the realm.

Jon looked her in the eyes, 'The letter holds the threat of war if you do not return… I don't know what to do… what the best thing will be… I cannot express what you have brought to this realm, not only your gift which has helped save this country from the brink of peril but also your care for animals and your friendship. I have replied to the king's letter, stating that you are now a subject of Tortall and I have implied that a declaration of war between our two countries at this fragile time would do no good for them.'  
Jon stood and moved towards Daine taking her hands in his,

'I have searched for a law, a treaty, something which would allow you, security of citizenship which Galla could never threaten. But there is nothing. I fear that, the Gallan King may push the issue all the way to war.' He fell silent, looking at Daine, willing her to understand his decision, and guilt.

Daine opened her mouth to speak and closed it. She tries again,

'If they declare war on us, we couldn't fight it. We are already pushed too the brink with the mounting war against Scanra and they are our allies, in this mess'  
She sighed. Strengthening her hold on Jon's hands, maybe trying to pull courage from the touch

'Tortall is my home, and I wish nothing to befall it. If….. If the reply returns with no negotiation on the issue, then I will return' her voice shook.

Jon didn't feel any happier by Daine's answer; it would still mean he would loose a close friend and ally.

'But what about Numair?' He whispered. He knew from seeing the couple together that their love went as deep as the love he shared with Thayet, so how could she make such a decision.

She smiled sadly, 'I love Numair, overwhelmingly so', she paused looking around the darkening room in the afternoon sun. 'If I didn't go, it would be war, and then what? All able men and women would be called to action. Humans and the People will die, many of them. I couldn't hold that on my conscience. And noble, kind, loving Numair would be called into action, and maybe killed. Wouldn't you do anything to protect Thayet from harm?'

Both of them fell silent thinking of their loved ones.

'Right Jon, this is what we will do', Daine said forcefully, 'contact me as soon as you receive reply and we will go from there.' She moved to leave the room, flashing Jon one last smile

'Oh, and don't tell Numair, it will only worry him. I will only tell him if something comes of it'

And with that, Daine left the room.

However, Jon sat in his study for many hours thinking about what Daine had said. It wasn't only the threat of war or the prospect of losing Daine which kept him awake for many hours, but the depth of her love for Numair.

***

**Author's Note:**

Thank you to the kind people who reviewed to say that I had spelt Tortall wrong. Quite correct, I had added it to Microsoft word dictionary incorrectly. Thanks


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two **

It had been weeks since Jon had spoken to Daine, and she had resumed her daily life, putting the conversation from her mind. But today she was troubled.

Jon had sent her word that the Gallan king would allow no negotiation on her return. However, the Gallan king would see her return as a sign of a peace treaty and continued friendship in joint warfare against Scanra. The king had also included, in a sign of good will, a place at court upon her arrival in a month's time. Daine should have felt good about the prospect of helping Tortall gain a strong war ally such as Galla, but instead she felt like a pawn in the Gallan chest game.

Worry etched her face as she returned to her rooms to seek out Numair. She needed to talk to him, and it was breaking her heart.

She walked back from the stables through the palace gardens. Even with winter approaching the gardens still held onto their beauty, composed in the chill. She remembered many hours walking around these gardens with Numair, discussing the difference plants, their history and origins. She had always been impressed by his immense knowledge, an amazement which had only grown with time; even when on occasion his experiments had made them late to meetings and such.

Finally she read their rooms; the plaque on the door entitled both their names. She walked in quietly, as to not disturb his delicate workings, only to find him waiting for her, a loving smile on his lips.

He quickly strode across the room to meet Daine's loving lips with a kiss

'How I missed you today, magelet' he whispered into her ear as she held him close.

His scent wafted from his body, filling Daine with a sense of home. She realised, that home had come to mean, being with Numair and she started to cry at the thought of losing that feeling.

'Daine… Daine… what ever is the matter? Love, why do you cry?' Numair said, drawing back from their embrace so he could see her beautiful face.

She stared back up at him, tears still dripping down her face.

'Come, lets sit down, I need to tell you something' she said wiping her eyes, attempting to pull herself together and be strong.

They moved to the love seat under the window in the far corner of their room.

'Jon got a letter from the Gallan Court, detailing a threat that unless I returned to Galla they would declare war on Tortall.' She explained

He looked at her blinking, 'But you can't go. This is your home' he replied stupidly.

'Don't you see? I have to…' her voice broke, she paused and swallowed, 'I cant sacrifice other people's lives for mine, and that's what will happen if we go to war' , she looked down at her hands

Numair reached down to lift her head. He searched her eyes, looking for something, as if her eyes were pools into her soul.

'Do you not love me? Because that's what it sounds like. Would you give me up without a fight, a challenge? Has this all been an illusion?' he questions her.

Daine moved her head from his grip, suddenly angry that he could doubt her so much

'How could you question my love? My love for you has nothing and everything to do with my decision. Don't you see, we are losing the war with Scanra before it has even started! How long do you think it will take before one of our friends or even you are killed in battle? How long do you think the Tortall, which you hold so dear, will last under the pressure of two wars? I love Tortall and I love you and I'd rather break my heart and return to Galla then let you face an impossible war. With Galla as allies, we stand a chance. And I stand a chance of not losing you. I will not waste the little amount of time we have, challenging something which we have no chance of winning. Jon and I have looked for a loop hole, and there isn't any. Do you understand?'

Rare tears leaked from his eyes as he pulled her close to kiss her. The kiss was filled with passion but more of sadness entwined with both of their tears.

For hours, Daine and Numair held each other close, as if brute strength could stop time from slipping away from them.

Slowly, Numair untangled himself from Daine and moved to kneel before her.

'I've asked you before, and I vowed I'd keep asking, never to let you slip away. Will you marry me?' He asked.

Daine was silent. The marriage question had hung in the air for years between the two. She had turned him down, on many occasions, mostly because she was scared. She didn't really know what she was scared of, whether it was commitment, their love, or that he could break her heart. This time she knew why she was turning him down.

'I love you more then anything. And I am more your's, then any marriage ceremony could ever make me. But, this changes everything, my return to Galla. Marriage won't make me a citizen of Tortall and free me from Galla's grasp. What's more, it will trap you.' She said. Numair attempted to answer, but she hushed him, putting her fingers to his lips

'Don't speak. Our marriage will trap you. I don't know when or if I will return from Galla. And I don't want to think of you here, alone. I would want you to move on. Hush, please listen' She paused, thinking. 'I will not trap you in any legal bond when we may never see each other again. If I could wish for you anything, it will be that you will find love in my absence'

With those closing words, it suddenly dawned on them both, that this was the beginning of the end. Daine could no more stay in Tortall then Numair could move to Galla. He owed the crown everything, without Tortall he would probably have starved to death as a lonely juggler. He couldn't abandon his country in their time of need, just as much as Daine couldn't place Tortall in peril.

That night, they held each other close, memorising every expression, touch, and word, fearing the day, in a month's time when they would no longer be in each others arms.

*******

**Authors Note:**

If you have a moment, Please review as it gives me guidance on the story line. Also, please review if there is any grammatical or spelling mistake (although all attempts have been made to thoroughly check the document). Oh, and thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you to the kind people who reviewed to say that I had spelt Tortall wrong. Quite correct, I had added it to Microsoft word dictionary incorrectly. Thanks


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: I do not own any of the featured characters and they remain the property of Tamara Pierce. Sob.

* * *

**Chapter Three **

In the weeks that followed a tense silence fell over the palace court. Word had spread through the palace of Daine's hostile return to Galla later that month. Fractions were appearing in Jon and Thayet court, between those who felt the crown had betrayed Daine and those, who due to fear of her magic, wished her good riddance. But those close to her, held a sorrow and an understanding of the decision both the king and Daine had made, even if they didn't like it.

Daine had spent her days in these last weeks packing the few possessions which she had and learning the finer arts of being a TorallTortallan diplomat in a foreign court. Gareth the Younger of Naxen had taken it upon himself to teach her how to curtsey, address and hold herself in the Gallan court. In the long hours that she had spent learning with Gareth, repetitively going through courtly gestures and such, she had learnt more about the political situation in Galla.

Galla in recent years had become a major ally to Tortall. Not only were they preparing to go to war in defence of Tortall, they also supplied Tortall with sixty percent of its imports. However, the internal stability of Galla was an unknown factor. The current king, the son of a bloody usurper, had imposed an authoritative strict regime over the country. On one hand, any hint of rebellion was quashed in gory executions but on the other, the king had set up compulsory schools of learning, blossoming university hubs as well as a national poor relief for the needy.

It was in these lessons, which George Copper, Barron of Pirates swoop had come to visit her to inform her about Tortall spies at court should she need help. He also taught her rudimentary spying skills, should she need them. Daine felt more secure knowing that if needed, there were some people she could rely on and that she wasn't alone in the foreign court.

Sadly the weeks before her return slipped into days, until she felt suddenly that time was running out.

She and Numair had become ever closer, spending any free time available together enjoying each others company and physical closeness. She took great pains to memorize every emotion which could fill his eyes and learn his every thought on many subjects. She hoped that this would provide her with some comfort in the lonely years ahead, when she could no longer ask his opinion, feel his love, or maybe, she feared, remember his face.

That night two days before she would begin her long ride east to Galla, she wondered around the rooms which she and Numair shared. Even though she had shared these rooms she had acquired very little possessions, just enough to laden her horse down when she travelled.

However, in the last few weeks perhaps in a materialistic way of asking for forgiveness, Jon, well more influenced by Thayet, had given her a few elegant gowns, accessories and sturdy horse tack as well as a Sharpe knife from raven armouries.

When she had questioned Thayet about the knife, Thayet turned to look her in the eyes and said 'you can never be too careful at court'.

It made her shudder to think about how close she would have to get to another person to use to knife, but never the less tucked it into her left foot boot.

In an attempt to celebrate the achievements Daine had given Tortall and as a sort of goodbye, Jon and Thayet had organised a Ball in Daine honour. Even Alana had returned from investigated a suspected corrupted town chief early to help Daine get dressed.

'You look beautiful Daine' Thayet said in awe at how the sea green dress brought out the colour of her eyes and complimented her completion.

Daine stood in front of a long mirror, critically gazing at her reflection. Behind her stood Thayet, who she couldn't quite stop herself, comparing herself too. Thayet looked beautiful in her long sweeping gown, which contrasted sharply with her jet black hair. She looked ever much like a Queen.

Daine returned her gaze back to her own form. Sometimes she felt so un-associated with her body, maybe it was a consequence of having the ability to shape shift into any animal.

Alanna once again jumped up from the bed to reposition Daine's hair before moving back saying 'perfect'.

Daine stared at the two women in the reflection of the mirror. Once upon a time, she had been embarrassed whenever they tried to talk to the likes of her. But some where along the way, they have become some of her closest friends.

'I just to want to thank you both' Daine said 'for making me feel wanted and for supporting me in every decision I made and for making me feel accepted, even when….the things I could do…were a little unusual.'

'A little unusual?' smirked the violet eyed female, laughing. 'I'd call what you can do more then a little different.' Her voice softened 'But I would never have you any other way. You, in your own manner, have brought as much change to this court, as Jon and Thayet have made or even me, as the first lady knight.' She paused, looking more serious 'I am glad to have known you; it's not me who you should be thanking, but I thanking you.'

Alanna moved to draw Daine into an embrace

'I feel so powerless that I cannot stop what is happening to you. But I cannot change it. And I want to say that your decision was the greatest act of courage I have seen in a long time. If…' Alanna swallowed, tears welling up in her eyes, 'if you ever need someone, if you're in trouble, and in need of help, send for me or George and we will be there, whatever the cost' She drew back from their embraced and lightly kissed Daine's forehead and existed the room to check on the final preparations for the ball.

'See, Daine, what impact you have had on this court, that you leaving could make Alanna cry.' Said Thayet from where she was sitting on the loveseat.

Daine moved across the room to join her,

Sighing, suddenly tired of all this emotion,

'I will miss this place. After what happened to ma and Grandpa I never thought that I would ever feel at home anywhere. But too lose it… it hurts. Thayet will you do you a favour?' Daine asked, turning to look at the women,

Thayet leaned in closer, listening intently to what she had to say;

'Yes, unquestionably' she answered simply

'Will you look after Numair? I don't just mean, checking up on him to make sure he's eat when he get all wrapped up in his experiments. But I mean… help him move on.' She ended up whispering.

In truth the idea of Numair kissing another woman, loving another woman felt like a stab to her heart. But, the idea of him being alone for the rest of his days, hurt even more. She wanted him to be happy, even if that meant being happy in another woman's arms, so be it.

Thayet looked intently at Daine, knowing what it had cost her to ask.

'Yes I will, for you Daine I will' she replied holding Daine closely.

Hearing the bell, marking the hour Thayet and Daine, both wiped their eyes and got up and went to the last ball.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I realised that Numair has his own tower, but for story consistency, Daine and Numair had begun to spend more time at court as Daine helped the new recruits and palace animals. However, on occasion they did stay at his tower.

Please review either positively or critically especially if there are any inconsistencies, spelling or grammatical errors


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: I do not own the characters in this story; they remain the property of Tamara Pierce. Sadly.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter Four

Taking a deep breathe, Daine waited outside the oak doors, to be announced to the waiting court.

'Introducing, Veralidaine Sarrasri, Wildmage of Tortall and Galla' said the courtier servant loudly as Daine graced in down the entrance staircase, putting into practice all the courtier skills she had been practicing with Gareth.

She moved through the staring crowd to courtesy at the enthroned King and Queen of Tortall.

Rising from her courtesy, she turned around to address the waiting people;

'Speech! Speech!' cried Onua from somewhere at the back of the throng,

Daine smiled, 'It's heart-warming to see so many of you here to say goodbye. Some of you, who I know it must have taken a while to get here' she winked at Lady Maura of Dunlath

'So you want a speech? Oddbob's…Well…..' She paused pondering how to put her feelings into words 'I want to thank everyone for giving me a home. A home is where you feel safe, where you are loved; a place where you are wanted.' she paused a moment to search the crowd till her eyes met Numair, whose love was shinning through.

'As you all know, I have been ordered back to Galla, the land of my birth. However, my home and my heart will always remain in Tortall. I also want to thank you for the precious memories and experiences which I have found here. Of knights who can be women as well, royalty with a commoner's sensitivity and mages, who know humility.' She smiled, dipping her head to wipe away one escaped tear, 'Too Tortall!'

Everyone who had a glass raised it and those without clapped loudly.

*********

Later between the dancing, talking and the trying of the delicate platters of food laid out, Daine worked her way to chat to Onua.

'So, dear, how are you enjoying the ball?' asked a rather merry Onua

Daine turned back to look at the happy, dancing joyous people

'It's been an experience, I can't believe this many people came because of me! It seems unbelievable how normal this all feels. I remember when you first hired me, back at the horse market, when I found it amazing that someone of your position would even acknowledge me.' She laughed, enjoying a distant memory

'You've… you have come along way, Daine. From that shy, broken lass… girl you were then. But I will always say, I always say… I made one of my best decisions when I hired you! Apart from the fact, me and the horses would have never got back to Corus without….. Your brave and accurate shooting at those stormwings … I also gained a true friend.' Onua said, slightly slurred.

She leaned in to hug Daine murmuring 'I will miss you' before Daine heard quiet snoring noises showing that Onua was out for the count, tonight.

The rest of the night passes in a whirlwind until dawn frayed at it's edges and as all good things must do, it came to an end.

Daine, Numair and the other courtiers left the ball room slightly worse for wear, knowing that come morning most of the guests would be nursing their heads.

************

The following evening saw Daine blindfolded with a silken cloth and led by the hand to a romantic dinner for two outside in the elements, with Numair.

The outside air hummed with the passing _people's_ conversation; of final preparation for winter hibernation and general chit chatter.

The scene which was unveiled to her awaiting eyes was on a quiet hollow, mildly glowing from floating orbs of light casting shadow from the willowy oaks.

Both of them were attempting to talk about anything apart from Daine's imminent departure, but it hung in the air like an oppressive gravitational force.

'Remember, when you were tempted by the lovely chaos women in the divine realms?' Daine giggled,

'I was not tempted, I was merely….. Interested in her for scientific reasons! You are much more lovely then she is' Numair replied faking seriousness whilst tenderly lowering his head over Daine's to kiss her lightly on the forehead. Daine returned his kiss passionately and moved to sit curled up on his lap.

'I going to miss you dearly…I don't know how I'm going to…' He sighed 'words cannot express my love to you…' She moved to stare into his eyes letting her love fill her face.

She wanted to say something, anything which would give him some peace when she left.

'I love you and I will always love you. Distance, although a barrier, will not stop that. But neither do I doubt your love. If I could marry you, I would be your loving wife. But…' She choked 'it was not to be.'

'I'd rather have had the chance to feel this love, this overwhelming love for you then never to have it, even if now knowing that not seeing your face will break my heart. Is it better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all?'

She leaned in, attempting to kiss away the tears free falling down Numair face but there were too many to catch.

'Don't cry… Don't cry love. Please, it's tearing me up. I want to ask you something… No..' Her voice forcefull hardened, her copper curls swaying in the light breeze 'I want you to do something for me when I am gone' she paused, taking his waiting silence as agreement

'when I am gone, I don't want to hear that you are alone, that you have isolated yourself or locked yourself away in your tower and….. I don't want to you **not** to accept lady's advances because of me' she tried to make her voice firm, however shaky she felt.

This is what she wanted for him, for her love for him overwhelmed her own sense of betrayal. After all if you love someone you let them be free.

'I couldn't do that to you Daine! I love you! Will you stop trying to discount that as something which I can just bury and get over! I will love you forever!' He hotly replied

She whispered 'I know you will love me forever… but I'm not going to be **here** forever. I'm leaving at dawn tomorrow.'

She stared into his hurt eyes, 'But I don't want my last memory of us together to be one of hot anger, I don't want us to fight. You know my wishes and acceptance of the way it has to be after I am gone. So let's leave it at that. Let tonight be the sharing of our love' she leaned in close to kiss him deeply.

The rest of the night slipped away. Numair deepened their kiss, sliding their bodies onto the lush grass floor. As they held each other close, both of them knew in their hearts, that however close their love making made them tonight, that tomorrow would be the end and that they, perhaps, would never be this close ever again. And that was very sad.

**

* * *

**

Authors Note:

Please Read and Review. I hope I haven't been too explicit in the ending.

In addition to the issue with the characters being out of well, character. It's bound to be different from the character known in the books due to a different writer picking up the story line. In addition, I am taking the character into different scenes and thus sorry for any out of character responses.


End file.
